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Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Church Bulletin Humor

As shared by Fr. Curtis on Sunday. Taken from actual church bulletins:

Actual Announcements from Church Bulletins

1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

2. Tuesday, at 4 p.m, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early.

3. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will singe, “Put Me in My Little Bed”, accompanied by the Pastor.

4. Thursday, at 5 p.m., there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All those wishing to become little mothers, please meet the pastor in his study.

5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

6. The service will close with “Little Drops of Water”. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.

8. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

9. A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belser.